On Dreams, Dreams Lost, and Why I'm Traveling On.
Years ago I remember first hearing about people taking a year to travel around the world. My young heart immediately leapt at the idea and ever since I've dreamt of doing a trip like this. Not all dreams are meant to be fulfilled. Some dreams die, and rightfully so, being replaced by better ones. Other dreams are never fulfilled due to our circumstances or our fears. When dreams die within us we grieve the loss of what can never be. In these moments we are face to face with our human fragility. We are creatures bound to time and finitude and inevitable regrets.
Other times we kill our dreams before they're even off the launching pad of our hearts. We steer those hopeful rockets to the ground, crashing them in favor of the wild thrill of unknown skies.
I find myself in a place where this particular dream of traveling around the world is in motion. What started for me as an inner rumbling to visit communities of spiritual significance in Europe turned into a delightful, enriching, life-changing romp with friends new and old.
When I started the trip, I built in an escape route. Since I'd never traveled for this long I didn't know how I'd feel four months in. I could go back to the States now as I have a return ticket booked with award miles leaving next week. On days when I'm tired of always moving, missing home, feeling the gaps of culture and language, going back has felt like an attractive option. But I got some rest, stayed in one spot for a few weeks, and slowly felt my energy rise back up.
I'm going onward. I'm throwing off the the extra weight, hauling up the anchor, hoisting the sails. Onward towards the rising sun, full of hope, less and less afraid, learning to see Christ in every bit of this wildly beautiful and tragic world.